Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
