i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
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