covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
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I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
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Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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