Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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