Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
