And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
