i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
