Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
