if you like me you must not know who I am
it hurts more in the daytime
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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