Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize