Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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