my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize