TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
