So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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