as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
