he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
