do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
