Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
