When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
