He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
