You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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