The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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