YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
