you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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