I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My breasts were aching with rage.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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