Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
