I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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