ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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