If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
