I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
