I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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