I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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