I wanna bring you to show and tell
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Then you guys just all showered together...?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
