So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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