He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
