it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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