What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
