Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
