Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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