Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
