I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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