haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
