stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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