Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
