I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's great music for shaving your balls
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
