i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
