I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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