Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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