Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
