it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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