the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think people are normalizing furries
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
