He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Green mimosas i think yes
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
