I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize