he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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