Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
