my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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