the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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