Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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