I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
