I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
