Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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